


Party on the SS Koizumi

by The_SS_Koizumi



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Boats, Komaeda gets hammered, Other, This is crack, wild parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_SS_Koizumi/pseuds/The_SS_Koizumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izuru throws a yacht party for his wonderful friends, but Komaeda's crippling loneliness, Teruteru's desire for women's underwear, and the Feds make things go a little out of hand...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party on the SS Koizumi

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published piece, I hope you guys enjoy it!

"So, do you like it?" Izuru asked Komaeda hopefully.  
"Oh yeah! It's really neat!" Komaeda commented nervously. He was the first person to arrive to Izuru's yacht party, which meant he was left alone with someone who didn't particularly like him. "Don't you think Koizumi-San would be a bit...creeped out after seeing her face plastered on the side of your boat?"  
Izuru shrugged, looking bored. "I never really thought about that. I suppose I don't really care. I hardly know her anyways."  
A breeze blew from the sea, causing a shiver to run down Komaeda's spine. "Then why is her face on your boat?"  
"Shut up," Izuru snapped. Komaeda was making him impatient. When are the others coming?, he thought. "Why did you come? You're boring. Did I even invite you?"  
Komaeda took a step back, looking insulted. "Y-you did invite me! And I came because I felt like coming!"  
Izuru smirked. " is that why? Or did you wish to see Hinata-kun? Because he's not coming. We haven't spoken in weeks."  
Komaeda's face turned a deep red. "N-no I just wanted to get out of the house. My coming here has no relation to the fact that Hinata-kun's hope shines brighter than anyone I've ever met..." He trailed off, and a bit of drool leaked out of his mouth.  
"What the hell?" Izuru turned away in disgust, but then spun back around, and pushed Komaeda over. Komaeda's frail body sprawled out on the wooden planks of the dock. "Stay away from my brother, freak!"  
Komaeda stared up at Izuru in shock. He had never imagined Izuru was capable of such rage. Komaeda opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by shouting coming from the shore.  
"What?!? Izuru! WHY IS MY FACE ON YOUR BOAT YOU PERVERT?!?!?"  
Izuru spun around to find Koizumi, Saionji, and Ibuki staring directly at him. Koizumi seemed flustered, and continued to shout at him, while Saionji was staring at him in a mildly irritated way, and Ibuki appeared to be admiring the boat.  
"Damn it," Izuru muttered under his breath. He shot a glare at Komaeda. "Get out of here."  
"O-okay," Komaeda stammered. He lifted up a hand, dripping in pink blood. "By the way, you should really clean up this dock. There are broken bottles lying around everywhere. Someone can get hurt."  
Izuru continued to stare coldly at Komaeda. "Good."  
"Oooh. Izuru-chan! Did you paint Mahiru-chan's pretty face on your boat all by yourself? Ibuki is impressed!" Ibuki had come up from behind, and was now standing uncomfortably close to Izuru. "Nagito-chan! You're here, too? Ibuki didn't think parties like these were your scene! What happened to your hand?" Ibuki continued chattering on, but everyone else decided to ignore her.  
Hiyoko asserted herself into Izuru's face in a domineering, childish way. "Why is big-sis- Mahiru's face on your boat? Are you a creepy, creepy pervert? Huh? Are you? ARE YOU?"  
Izuru was beginning to regret throwing a party in the first place, but now it was too late.  
"Whatever, guys! Ibuki is getting impatient!" Ibuki burst in. "Come on! Ibuki wants to see how many pictures of Mahiru-chan Izuru-chan has on the inside!" Ibuki climbed up onto the yacht without another word, dragging Koizumi and Saionji along with her, leaving Izuru and Komaeda alone again.  
Komaeda looked up at Izuru with a serious look on his face. "I'm not leaving."  
Izuru squinted at the luckster in disgust. "I really don't care, but don't be surprised if I file a restraining order against you."  
"But I sit right behind you in science class," Komaeda whispered.  
Izuru drew back in shock. "So you're the one who's been braiding my hair in class?"  
They stared at each other in silence for a while.  
"Yes."  
\---  
About an hour later most of the people who had been invited had shown up. Souda had set up possibly the loudest sound system in history, and Komaeda had managed to sneak back into the party after Izuru pushed him off into the dark, cold water-twice.  
"Hey Tsumiki-San!" Komaeda greeted the nurse cheerfully.  
"U-um. Hi Komaeda. W-what so you want?" Tsumiki answered nervously.  
Komaeda shrugged. "I just want to hang out, I guess."  
She seemed to perk up at this. "R-really?" Why would Komaeda want to talk to me?,she thought. He's actually kind of cute. What if I mess this up and ruin everything? Should I take my clothes off? What if...  
"Actually...nah," Komaeda heartlessly turned her down and walked in the other direction.  
Tsumiki sobbed, feeling rotten and rejected and ignored. Then she felt something new, something that felt a bit like something was boiling inside of her. How dare he ignore me? She thought. Well, he won't be able to ignore me when I'm the only one who can help him...  
\---  
"Where is my bra? Someone took my bra!" Peko burst out of the bathroom. "I haven't taken it off all night! Who took it?" She wasn't kidding. She was brandishing her sword with death in her eyes. If someone didn't give her bra back, someone was going to get hurt.  
Everyone in the room looked to Hanamura, who appeared absolutely insulted. "How dare you? I would never take the lovely Pekoyama-san's bra. How dare you?" He didn't seem very convincing, especially because a small trail of blood was beginning to trickle from his nose.  
Pekoyama appeared like she was about to strike, but Fuyuhiko held her back. "C'mon Peko, he's not worth it. Also, I don't want you to go to prison."  
Peko blushed deeply. "If you say so young master."  
\---  
About twenty minutes later, Souda and Taumiki's underwear had also disappeared. 

*To Quote Souda:*  
"What the hell, guys?!? Where are my underpants?!?"

Tsumiki didn't seem to mind, for whatever reason.  
\---  
Ibuki, Saionji, and Tsumiki spent about 95% of their time sitting in one area, discussing topics such as how Hanamura could possibly remove people's underwear without them noticing, and who that strange girl with huge, black pigtails was. Seriously, nobody knew. She probably wasn't invited, and she hasn't done anything but sit in a chair with her hands neatly folded in her lap, staring at people. Saionji had started the habit of referring to her as "Creepy Goth Lolita Girl." They took turns daring each other to say and do various things to her, but backing out at the last minute.  
"Ibuki dares you to...give Creepy Goth Lolita Girl a big fat kiss, Mahiru-chan!" Ibuki rocked back and forth in her chair.  
Koizumi blushed and lowered her head. "Guys... I don't think that's such a good idea. You can't just...do that...to random people. It's perverted!"  
Ibuki crossed her arms and shook her head at an impossible speed. "Nope. No getting out of this one. Ibuki double-dares you."  
Koizumi looked desperately at Saionji and Tsumiki, but saw the embarrassed, but still evil expressions on their faces. Yep, there's no getting out of this one. Great, she thought. And to think this night was going somewhat well.  
Nervously, she stood up from her seat, heart racing. Was she really going to do this? To just some random person? For a dare?  
Yes, yes she was. She approached the strange-looking girl cautiously. Hey, this actually might have been fun to photograph, if it weren't me, she thought. She was only a foot away from the girl, who had either not noticed her yet, or was refusing to look at her. She bent over, and placed her lips on the girl's cheek. The strange thing was, the girl didn't even move an inch. The stranger thing, though, was that she couldn't feel her bra. What? Why can't I feel my bra? She thought. She made a sudden realization, and spun around. Hanamura had just disappeared into a crowd. "Hey!"  
\---  
"Are you really sure you want to do this, Hajime? Crashing your brother's party is only going to make him even angrier," Nanami gazed at Hinata with a caring look on her face.  
"Why wouldn't I want to? All of my friends will be there," he took his eyes off of the road for a moment to look at her. "Besides, if he doesn't want me there, then why did he post stuff about it on Facebook, when I'm his only friend on that website?  
*Izuru's Post*  
Party tonight at my yacht! Don't tell Hinata ;)

"He was probably drunk, Hajime," Nanami looked more concerned than ever. "If you really want to go, that's fine, but my advice is to turn around and go home."  
"You just want to go home and play video games, don't you?" Hinata asked suspiciously.  
Nanami paused "...yes"  
Hinata narrowed his eyes at her, but silently took her hand. There was no way in hell he was turning back.  
\---  
"Hajime-channnnnnn!" Ibuki cried out, grabbing Komaeda's attention. Hinata-kun's here! Komaeda thought. He could feel moist sweat running down his face. He hugged himself. Oh my god Hinata-kun makes me so mooiiiiiist. Yesssss, he thought.   
"Hey Komaeda!" Hinata smiled at Komaeda, making the lucky bastard feel like he was on the freaking sun.  
"Hey, Hinata-kun," Komaeda breathed, sounding more breathy and aroused than he intended.  
Nanami gave a concerned look to Hinata, and Hinata shrugged. She seemed to be getting flustered.  
"Hey Hinata-kun would you like me to get you a drink? Then maybe we can talk...um...alone?" Komaeda asked hopefully.  
Hinata rubbed the back of his neck nervously. This is exactly what he feared would happen. "Um...about that. I'm...kinda dating Chiaki."  
Komaeda's eyes grew wide as his heart shattered into a million tiny little pieces. "What?"  
\---  
Tsumiki had a plan. Komaeda was at his weakest. Right. Fucking. Now. She must comfort him. With booze. And love. Mostly booze.  
"What's wrong, Komaeda-kun?" Tsumiki asked, cocking her head slightly to the side. Oh god, what if I screw this up?, she thought. She took a deep breath. Her psychologist said that she wasn't supposed to be thinking like that anymore.  
He lifted his head from the table and the tears running down his cheeks were visible. "H-h-Hinata-kun..." He sobbed.  
Tsumiki shushed him, and softly patted his fluffy white head. Yessss. He's mine, she thought. "You know what will help?"  
Komaeda looked confused as she pushed a strong-smelling drink toward him. "Are you sure this is safe, Tsumiki-San? I'm only seventeen, and..."  
"I'm a nurse, Komaeda. Drink it. Drink it now!"  
"U-um...okay then."  
\---  
"Where has my bra gone, Tanaka-San?" Sonia whispered to Gundham. "This is quite troubling."  
Gundham narrowed his eyes. "Even with my immense power, I can not distinguish the culprit, but when I do find out, know that my four Dark Gods of Destruction will have no mercy!"  
"It seems as though the culprit has stolen from nearly all of the females, and Souda-San," Sonia put a finger to her chin. "I believe this is Hanamura-san's doing."  
A flustered-looking Koizumi walked by. "No shit! He took my bra, too. I tried chasing after him, but that creep is faster than he looks."  
Sonia held up her strong arm. "He is a problem, and he must be stopped!"  
\---  
Komaeda finished his drink, slamming it down on the table as Tsumiki watched him intently. He hiccuped. "Thanks, Tsumiki, I rlly need'd that. Y'know what? I'm gonna *hic* put myself out there." He raised his arm into the air. "Rebound!" He stumbled from his chair, in search of rough animal sex.  
"Oh," Tsumiki sighed. "I'm being forgotten. Again. How nice..."  
\---  
"No, Komaeda," Fuyuhiko looked at him sternly. "You look drunk and emotionally unstable. Maybe someone should take you home."  
"No!" Komaeda shouted, nearly falling out of his chair. "I need sex!" He stood up, and stumbled away.  
Fuyuhiko sighed "Fuck this shit," but them he saw Komaeda stumble over to Peko. His Peko. Hell no. Fuyuhiko charged at Komaeda at full speed, fist raised. "Leave her alone, Komaeda!"  
Komaeda turned around, and gazed at the tiny gangster innocently. "What was that?"  
"I said leave her alone! Go away! Now!" Fuyuhiko was seething with rage.  
Komaeda held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. Really, really sorry." He backed away slowly.  
Peko looked at Fuyuhiko, confused. "Young master, he was just asking me where the bathroom is."  
\---  
"Heyyyy Akane *hic* how are you?" Komaeda stumbled over to where Akane was standing.  
"Komaeda, what's wrong with you?" She asked, not really concerned, just bored, and up for a really, really good story.  
Komaeda teared up a little. "Hinata-kun's dating Nanami."  
"Ooh," Akane understood. Everyone knew that Komaeda had it really bad for Hinata.  
Komaeda threw his hands into the air. "But I'm on the rebound!"  
"So you want sex?"  
"U-um...well...yeah..."  
"Okay, but we're doing it my way," Akane cracked her knuckles.  
"Y-your way?" Komaeda stuttered, fearing for his life.  
"C'mon. Let's find a closet so you can show me your front tail!" There was a dangerous glint in Akane's eyes. Komaeda needed to run.  
"No thanks," Komaeda's voice rose an octave. He spun around and ran away so fast, he didn't even realize that he was about to plow into Koizumi.  
"Hey! Watch it!" Koizumi ducked out of the way just in time. Komaeda stopped.  
"Hey Koizumi, hey Sonia! Do you guys want to..."  
"Not now, Komaeda," Sonia cut him off. "We are on a very important mission," then they left without an explanation.  
Komaeda glanced around. Izuru! He seems pretty lonely! He speed walked over to the greasy-haired teenager. "Hey Izuru!"  
Izuru looked at him in disgust, but didn't walk away.  
Komaeda had a question for him. "Hey, what's up with your hair? Do you have some sort of tentacle fetish, and the closest thing you could get to tentacles is that? Cuz your hair kinda looks like tentacles. Do you wanna have sex?" Komaeda swayed, and nearly cell over, but regained his footing.  
Izuru glared at Komaeda, making him feel extremely uncomfortable. "You must tell no one."  
Komaeda backed away and nodded slowly. This was not the reaction he was expecting.  
\---  
Hinata stood awkwardly with a wine glass full of cool, refreshing orange juice. He really loved orange juice. Just feeling the cool liquid on his lips made him horny.  
"Hey Hinata-kunnnn." Komaeda interrupted his thoughts.  
Oh god,Hinata thought. Why does he always have to stand so close? He's breathing on me.  
Out of nowhere, Komaeda took Hinata's head in his hands, and planted his lips on Hinata's. Maybe it was just the prevoius arousal from the orange juice, but Hinata was actually enjoying it. Running his tongue across Komaeda's bottom lip.  
"Ummm... Hinata? What are you doing?"  
Oh shit! Nanami's back from the bathroom!  
She had her arms folded, and she looked even angrier than either of them had ever seen her before. "Come on, Hinata, we should probably go home and talk." She grabbed Hinata's arm, and with her free hand, she snatched the orange juice from her boyfriend, and threw the liquid into Komaeda's face.  
By the time he had wiped the juice from his eyes, they were gone, and he felt worse than ever.  
\---  
Tsumiki saw Teruteru seduce the broken-hearted Komaeda, and lead him into a closet, and yet another brilliant idea hatched inside of her brain. She approached Koizumi and Sonia.  
"H-hey guys," She stuttered, sounding exactly like her normal, nervous self.  
"Hey," Koizumi had an angry, fiery look in her eyes. This was going to be good. "Have you seen Hanamura?"  
Tsumiki paused, then nodded. This was going just as planned. She pointed toward the closet.  
Koizumi stormed up to the closet, and threw open the door. "Oh god!" She jumped back.  
Tsumiki looked inside, and saw a somewhat disturbing sight. Hanamura appeared to have been groping Komaeda's special places, before the door flew open. Komaeda had an expression of terror, but Hanamura just seemed pissed.  
"Ummm... May I help you?" Hanamura was getting sassy.  
Koizumi cracked her knuckles. "I'm sure you can."  
Tsumiki pulled the helpless Komaeda out of the closet, and Koizumi and Sonia commenced with beating the crap out of Hanamura. Underwear was flying everywhere. Tsumiki led Komaeda out of the boat, into the parking lot, and into her car. She buckled them both in and drove off, heading toward her apartment. She looked over at Komaeda lovingly. Overall, it's been a pretty good night.  
\---  
"Halt! In the name of the law! This is the junior police, prepared to serve justice to you horny hooligans!" Kiyotaka Ishimaru burst onto the boat wielding a nightstick.  
Saionji squinted at him. "Does he have a boner?" She pointed at the bulge in his pants. "For justice?"  
Izuru rolled his eyes. "As if that really matters, but yes, it appears so."  
Ibuki shrugged. "It's not like he can do anything, he's a year younger than us."  
Mondo trailed in after the junior policeman. "Come on, Taka. They aren't doing anything wrong," he took Ishimaru's hand.  
Ishimaru caught sight of the drink in Owari's hand. "Under aged drinking! Under aged drinking! That's it! I'm calling the real police!"  
Izuru swore. "Fuck no! The Feds can't come here! This is a stolen boat!" Izuru glanced around, panicked. "Everyone, off! Unless you want a one-way ride to South Korea!"  
The party goers scattered at an incredible speed. Yep, it was a night to remember. Unfortunately, nobody ever saw Izuru, or the SS Koizumi ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I regret nothing.


End file.
